


Slow Dancing

by Montyvv056



Category: The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-26 15:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18182309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Montyvv056/pseuds/Montyvv056
Summary: You've known Jace, Izzy and Alec your whole life. They were your family, and Jace was finally looking at you as something more than a small thing needing protection. They were all you had and all you were ever going to have. Until that short redhead appeared, telling everyone she was Valentine's daughter. Though you couldn't hate her, not really, you couldn't help but feel as though you were losing not only Jace but also all control over your life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First Fanfic I've ever written, so let's hope you like it. Just as an fyi, if you're reading this, I wanted to let you know the posting schedule will be irregular. I will post when I can, but just to let you know. :)

Long ago, demons came upon our little planet Earth and decided they'd like to suck the life out of it. This ginormous angel, The Angel Raziel, dropped down from the sky and told this dude, Jonathan Shadowhunter, to make it his holy mission to get rid of them. Lo and behold, thousands of years later here I am, still trying to get rid of those blasted demons. My name's Raven Goldspear. I'm a bit of a nobody, but I'm frickin' great at hunting demons. In fact, the only person who is better, and who is ever going to be better, is Jonathan Christopher Wayland, who is a pretentious prick. He brags like there is no tomorrow and has no sense of remorse for my poor ears. On one hand, he looks like the embodiment of a warm summer evening, of a bit of sunlight coming in through a slit in your curtain. His looks alone could get him places. They have, actually. Then he opens his big mouth. Out of the fourteen Downworlder bars I used to go to that would overlook the fact that I was Shadowhunter he got me kicked out of twelve of them. I'm still trying to build some bridges with the owners and he is not making it easy at all. Isabelle Sophia Lightwood is really one of the only people keeping me sane. He drives the two of us to madness and has gotten Izzy booted out of a few of her favourite Downworler hotspots too. Thankfully, his parabatai Alexander Gideon Lightwood can usually keep him in check. Alec is the oldest of us, excluding our mentor Hodge Starkweather and the Lightwood's parents, and is really fond of the stereotype that the oldest is the most mature. Which is not true. Izzy and I contain a wisdom that goes well beyond our years. Alec's great, though. Sometimes when he catches me sneaking in past curfew he turns a blind eye and doesn't tell Hodge, and sometimes when Hodge catches me sneaking in the early hours of the morning he turns the other way and doesn't tell Alec. Neither of them know what the other does, but the system works for me. So what's a girl to complain about? Although Alec is like three years older than me we get along great. We don't really have much in common, but we're both sort of ... different by Shadowhunter standards. He's gay, or maybe, he's never really been with a man. I think he's terrified of what his mother and father, Maryse and Robert Lightwood, would think. Jace, of course, is always talking about these girls, those girls, Izzy is constantly talking about these guys she likes and guys she wants to do stuff with and I try to act like I get it and even Alec knows what that feels like. What wanting someone like that feels like. When I asked him about it, hypothetically, for a friend, he said maybe the right person just hadn't come around yet. It's possible. Hunting demons, partying, reading, hanging out with Iz and studying don't really leave a lot of time to socialize. Do they? Really the only person who I've felt even an inkling of what they say wanting a person is like is Jace. That in itself is hilarious because Alec also has the biggest crush on him. Jace, even though he is a pain in the gut, is a great person deep, deep, deep inside, and I do really love him apart from my maybe crush on him. Other than Jace nobody has sparked my interest. Though recent years have been bumpy, I think Jace is starting to think of me as something more than his best friend, which is good.


	2. I don't want a friend

<< "Two figures silently approached the open doorway of the training room and peered in. The old man ushered the young girl inside and began describing what the training room was used for, when it was used and so on, but the girl wasn't listening. She was too busy staring at the two dark-haired children who were huddled in a corner and who looked like they had shut the world out. She was too busy staring at the golden-haired boy training alone on an exercise mat. She watched at the dark-haired children discussed an at this moment unknown topic, come to a conclusion and go their separate ways. The boy went over to the other boy and began play-fighting him with what looked to be a bokken. The girl, on the other hand, came over to the old man and introduced herself to the now embarrassed and shy new girl. Then, after the brief introduction, the dark-haired girl skittered off out the door, singing and laughing down the hall. Stifling a giggle the new - now - only - girl abandoned the side of the older man tip-toed over to the two boys who were still engaged in play - combat. When the dark-haired boy was called away, the girl picked up the bokken he dropped and assumed a fighting stance across from the stilled golden boy." 

"You can fight?"  
"I can fight"  
Though the question would have, to an outside eye might have seemed to be rude, it formed an odd between these two individuals. A bond that, although it was mental, created a driving and connecting force to last decades.  
So, with a tremendous flurry of motion, they began. Parrying, slashing, stalking, they circled each other. There was no unnatural amount of taunting, and the easy bond that had snapped at the initial interaction ensured no hard feelings. She struck him down and he fell, hard, onto his arm. Resting her knee on his chest, she leaned over him.  
"What family?"  
"Wayland, Jonathan Christopher Wayland. Call me Jace."  
With that, he easily flipped her over and pinned her below him. Momentarily startled, she seized up and banged her elbow on the hard floor below the mat.  
"What family?"  
"Goldspear"  
"Is that your full name or..?"  
"Raven. My name is Raven Ilya Goldspear, of Brocelind Forest, Idris."  
"Are we doing full titles now?"  
"No, but I just wanted you to know I'm the best," and with that, she once again flipped the pair of them. The striking pain in her elbow stabbed her unexpectedly and her muscles gave out, proving her left arm useless for a few seconds. Even with that, she managed to pin his shoulders down and wrestle his bokken away from him. Then she stood, and with his lying spreadeagled on the mat she towered above him.  
"You are many things, Jonathan Christopher, but a Wayland you are not."  
With that, she dropped her own bokken and sauntered away. >>

"You did not!"  
"Yeah I did Jace, and the sooner you admit it, the sooner you will make peace with this book."  
"I beat you first, then I let you pin me down."  
Sitting on her bed, Raven flashed an incredulous look at the other side of the room. The boy there flashed her what was supposed to be a charming smile, and went back to his fiddling.  
"I still don't understand why you won't just make me the hero, the prince like you want to. Then you can make yourself the dainty little princess and I can save you like you've always wanted me too?"  
"First of all, you sexist pig, I have never imagined myself as a dainty princess. Secondly, even if I were I would never, ever want you to save me!"  
That, of course, was a lie. If anything, he was the only one she could imagine saving her. In any case. Obviously Raven would never tell him that.  
Shifting in her spot, a few haphazard pencils and pens rolled off her bed with a few taps on her floorboards. She slid off her bed then, and stumbled to the toilet.  
"Not going to invite me in?"  
"I would, but don't you have a job with Izzy and Alec tonight?"  
"I do, and you have an ~exam~ instead."  
Crap. She did. That meant a lot of time, maybe hours of sitting with Hodge, her however many times removed cousin's uncle and discussing the immense and odd politics of the Clave. In Latin, no less. A language full of odd conjugations and improper translations.  
"By the Angel above Jace, go! You know it takes you ages to get ready!"  
"Don't get mad at me because it takes you two seconds to get dressed, but you still end up okay."  
"Oh Mister Jonathan, is that a compliment I hear?"  
"Shut up and go shower, you stink Raven"  
I knew for a fact that I did not, and that Jace was just getting defensive because I caught him off guard. Though I knew the jab was just meant to be funny rather than disrespectful, the compliment made me feel much happier than I cared to admit. Now, however, I needed to clear him and his presence from my mind and focus on my Latin.  
"Do you want me to quiz you, Ray?"  
"Could you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sheer amount of times I referenced a totally different series. I'm sorry. Second chapter up, and hope if anybody read the first one and is still around I hope you enjoy it. Pretty crappy too, but what the hell?


	3. I want my life in two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying out a change in perspective in this chapter, from third to first person, so just a heads up.

"In AD 1000, demons began to invade Earth. The Angel Raziel appeared to a young man called Jonathan Shadowhunter and bestowed upon him three gifts; The Mortal Mirror, The Mortal Cup and The Mortal Sword. Each gift contained a special quality or advantage for this mission of demon conquering, and Jonathan Shadowhunter gave way to a long line of Shadowhunter, Nephilim, families. It has been our mission since then to, as a race, protect all creatures both mortal and immortal from these beasts. With the help of the runes we bear we can forge unities between individuals, like with the parabatai and wedding ceremonies, and become faster or stronger. We can speak or understand a multitude of tongues and enhance our stamina. Shadowhunters, Nephilim, me and you hunt the things that go bump in the night!" I finished, glancing at my mentor. The look of amusement and probably disgruntlement carved onto Hodge Starkweather's face were, I must admit, deserved no doubt, but he could have seemed a bit prouder. I had only made one or two slight errors in my speech, and had remembered all the necessary conjugations in bloody Latin. Regardless of what his scoring of my presentation would be I was proud of my brain.  
"Well done, Raven. A few minor grammatical errors, but otherwise very well said. I would advise you review his, eius and their, eorum, and what they determine for the gender of the rest of the sentence."  
"Just say I did good, Hodge!"  
"Just say I did well, Raven, just say I did well-"  
Before Hodge could lecture me anymore on my grammar, Jace burst in with a triumphant grin. Izzy and Alec trailed in behind him, the latter looking disturbed.  
"Mister Wayland, you had better-"  
"Hodge, Ray, you will not believe what Iz, Alec and I saw while doing our rounds at the Pandemonium!"  
"You went to the Pandemonium, the greatest club ever, without me?"  
I threw a sad look at Izzy and drawn-out puppy-dog eyes at Alec. If I could get them feeling sorry for me, maybe they could get Hodge to end the exam early.  
"Yes, but that's not the point! We saw a mundie!"  
"Wow Jace, well done. I'm so proud," I looked out the window, "Jace, you are never going to believe this, but there's another one outside!"  
At this Izzy giggled and Alec coughed to hide what could only have been a chuckle. Hodge turned away, but not before I saw the small smile he hid behind the back of his hand.  
"Hilarious, Ray. This mundie was not a regula-"  
"An un-mundane mundane, so to speak?"  
"Let me finish. The mundie could see us, Ray, Hodge. She looked right at us and spoke to me."  
The easy smile plastered to my face fell at that. Sometimes we had mundies who could see us, but usually when we glamoured ourselves as strongly as Iz, Alec and Jace had tonight we avoided them. Usually, with such strong glamours, only demons and Downworlders saw us. Only them and other Nephilim, that is.  
"Are you sure she was a mundie?"  
"She didn't have fangs, no glamour and looked surprised to see us sending the demon we found back, so not a demon. Iz and Jace tried to talk to her, but she didn't understand, so she probably isn't a Downworlder."  
"Werewolf?"  
"No claw marks."  
A shiver of fear went through us. If she wasn't a Downworlder, and she wasn't a demon, what was she? There were still faerie/mundie lines around, but from what Alec described she wasn't one. She also wasn't an Eidolon demon, even if those asses were slippery as hell. I looked to Jace, and I could see the adrenaline and fear in them. He could probably see the same in mine. Jace and I had been a part of the Lightwood's Institute for years, and we were practically family. When it came to things like this, though, we differed vastly. We enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, and the joy of the kill. They liked careful planning and a quick demise. Evident in their motto "Ut Bene Sit", or "We Mean Well" for us normal folk, they were more 'laidback' than Jace and I were.  
"So... What are we going to do?"  
My question echoed around the room, bouncing off the walls. We were all thinking it, but no one knew the answer. Even Alec was at a loss for words, and he always came up with the best ideas.  
"I don't know Raven. I really don't know."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I woke in a cold sweat, sheets tangled around me. Trying to slow my breathing, I looked at the alarm clock to my left. '12 am. Shit.'  
We had a meeting after Jace, Izzy and Alec told us what they saw, and the meeting had run long into the night. I wouldn't have minded, except that Hodge decided to test me again tomorrow instead. That meant I was missing two patrols, and based on my luck they'd find some mer-pire or something.  
The nightmare that woke me up was one I had been having ever since I came to the Institute. I didn't wake up every night because of it, and I had been having it increasingly less as I grew older, but when it returned it was painful. It changed every time, but the gist of it remained the same. It always included my parents and Valentine, but what happened changed constantly. Sometimes I was being drowned while my parents wept and screamed, sometimes they were the ones being brutally murdered while Valentine laughed. The scariest part of it wasn't that I died, or that I watched my parents die, but it was with the cool indifference that I felt when I watched them writhe in pain that chilled me to the bone. I had loved them, and to feel nothing as I saw them be slaughtered in front of me seemed like the ultimate betrayal of their memory.  
Jumping out of bed, I threw on some slippers and padded down the hall to Jace's room. Though Alec was my go-to if I needed to talk, Jace understood what I felt for the most part. So it was on his door I knocked, quietly, briskly. Less than a minute later the door creaked open and he stood there. With his ruffled hair and rumpled clothes, I could tell I had woken him up. Both of us were deep sleepers, but somehow he knew when I needed him. Probably I the same way I knew when he needed me.  
"Ray?"  
The initial concern in his gaze was soon replaced by gentle understanding, and he beckoned me inside.  
"Same dream?"  
"Same dream."  
He knew I wouldn't want to describe the hurt from today's ordeal. He would wait until the first light of dawn and ask 'what happened?', and I would tell him. The first time I woke up I went to Alec and tried to explain myself. It was terrifying, being so open about something that plagued me much more often back then. Alec did his best. He did his best but had no idea what it felt like. So I kept it in. I trapped it all inside. All those nights, waking up feeling as though I was being watched, those nights where I could still feel water clogging my lungs. I kept them in a box in my mind that I presumed would stay locked forever.  
"Lie down."  
I lay down on Jace's bed and remembered that first time I came to him for help.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was having trouble sleeping and kept tossing and turning on my bed. I had barely been at the Institute for a week when the nightmares started. They crept in as I fell asleep and left me lying awake well before the sun rose. I had learned to stay hushed about them, and wrote what I saw in a little notebook I left on my bedside table. Lying on my stomach I heard a sound coming from down the hall. Normally I wouldn't have heard it, because I was a deep sleeper, but today, since I was awake, I did. Putting on my dressing gown and slippers, I cracked open my door. Listening closely, I stood for a few seconds, trying to distinguish whether I heard the large grandfather clock in the hall when the sound came again. I plodded down the hallway, stopping at a door not too far from mine. I knocked tentatively once, twice, before opening it and tiptoeing in. Quietly closing the door behind me I turned to face the room. It was exceptionally tidy, and I wondered if I had followed the sound to the wrong place. But no, I hadn't. There on the bed was a small twitching form, groaning every few seconds. I stepped over to it and pulled back the blankets.  
"Jace?"  
I was surprised. The young Wayland seemed so unconcerned and playful during the day. With his starkly different parabatai, Alec, by his side he was an insufferable know-it-all. Now though, before me, I saw a unique side of him that was so strange and vulnerable.  
"Jace?"  
He started, and looked at me. I looked back, showing no emotion. it was as though he had, at that moment, understood how I had heard him tonight. How I had found my way to his room in the pitch black and found him in the same state I often inhabited. That was the first time he asked the question, 'same dream?', and the first time I answered 'same dream'.  
"Lie down."  
I did, right down beside him. I didn't ask him if he wanted to talk about it. I knew he didn't. I knew just like he knew this wasn't the first time I had awoken in a numbing flurry of emotion. So instead I told him about those other dreams. The ones I had when I first came. I told him about Alec, about how grateful I was that he tried, but sorrowful that he failed. He, in turn, told me about his dreams. About his father. About how he too had tried with Alec and Hodge and how neither knew. We told each other stories all night, falling asleep only as the first ray soft sunlight peeked in from a break in the blinds. We fell asleep curled together. Two lost children. Two lost souls who had found someone who understood.


End file.
